We can forget it for you wholesale

For most of my life, I was saddened that MK Ultra and Manchurian Candidate research had been so set back by the greater government transparency that came post-Nixon. As much as I revile torture and the Bush presidency, at the same time I kinda gotta respect that he, like Mengele, advanced the science of what it takes to break a man. I mean, what would we do without all that recent CIA research into waterboarding and solitary confinement?

My life would be poorer without it, that's for sure. In fact, I found myself getting morose at the thought that a new administration would mean 4 or 8 years of stagnation in the arena of fucking-with-our-heads-ology. Then, I looked at this headline from last fall, and was reminded that the corporate sector was all set to carry on in the grand Bush-Mengele legacy.

Memories Selectively, Safely Erased In Mice

ScienceDaily (Oct. 23, 2008) — Targeted memory erasure is no longer limited to the realm of science fiction. A new study describes a method through which a selected set of memories can be rapidly and specifically erased from the mouse brain in a controlled and inducible manner. New and old memories have been selectively and safely removed from mice by scientists.

Now, I know what you're thinking - safely rewriting the memories of mice is a far cry from anything Mengele or Bush did. Just the same, it's clear these researchers are thinking ahead:

Much as a war veteran remembers a fateful patrol when he was fired upon, [emphasis mine] mice can establish a very long-lasting emotional memory about a place if, for example, they receive a mild shock to the paws while there. The researchers showed if they over-expressed αCaMKII, this powerful memory was rapidly erased as the animals tried to retrieve them while other memories remained intact.

It's clear what's really being proposed here. Today meeses, tomorrow... what were we talking about? I just can't seem to remember.

I sure am looking forward to when they apply that technology to humans. I'd like to shake off a few of my irrational motivators, a few of my scars from childhood. Some of them are terrible things and the pain of them does me no good.

Oh sure, a few of them serve important functions... Don't touch that, it hurt. Don't treat people that way, it really messed you up when someone did it to you. Don't bailout the wall street tycoons, it did no good the last time you threw money at them. So, there's a chance that a few valuable lessons might be lost when my mind is wiped. But hell, I don't need those lessons. If I screw up again, I'll just pay to have those new traumatic memories wiped as well.

Think of all the money and misery this will save America!

• Traumatized by the that day half your squad died to friendly fire? Now you can forget you ever served in a combat zone. For an extra 50$, you can forget bootcamp, too.
• Obnoxious marketing jingle stuck in your head? It's gone now, along with that dreadful pop song you never wanna hear again.
  
• Economy so bad you had to sell your house and move into a rat-infested slum? Forget you ever had that nicer place.
• 43rd President a disgusting embarassment to our Nation? Now he's no more painful than the lack of a 13th-floor button in an elevator.
• Cash poor? Win big on Fear Factor, and next week you won't remember all those wriggling millipedes you had to swallow.
• Rather than just drinkin' yourself into oblivion night after night, you can just forget that bitch who drove you to to the bottom of the bottle. Still want the pleasant glow of not remembering who you slept with or how you staggered home last night? It now comes in a convient morning-after pill form at half the price.
• Local politics gonna get you run out of town? Pour a can of αCaMKII in the reservoir, and everyone will be much happier. No more guilty conscience, either.
• Bosses constant nepotism got you feeling like you'll never get ahead? Blood may be thicker than water, but it ain't thicker than αCaMKII.
• Deathly afraid of Snakes? Now you wouldn't know a rattler if it jumped out and bit you!
• Can't afford the alimony the judge will likely award your wife? A much smaller black-market payment will make her forget the day she discovered your affair. Should that fail, you can at least forget the last 6 months of fighting and most of the court proceedings.
• Psychokiller eat your children? Forget you ever gave birth to them.
• CIA programmed you to shoot someone? Now you can't remember enough of the details to rat them out to the Senate. Think of the savings to our government in hit-men contracts and hush money!

See, there's just no downside. All hail science!