My esteemed colleague with the one letter name has told me on multiple occasions that he can't understand why grown men choose to watch American football when there's women's beach volleyball. The choice seems so illogical.Where there are befuddling illogical decisions being made, one can often find religion.
WARNING: Satan is Using Olympics Volleyball to Get Young Boys to Masturbate!In other words, move away from the upright evangelical Christian promisedland of the upper Midwest to a den of sin like the Pacific Northwest where sick people are given the Devil's weed, told that it's okay to kill themselves, and, depending on how congress and the courts feel that day, fags can soil the sanctity of marriage."We won't stand for it in this church! From this day forward any member of our congregation caught watching Olympic volleyball or even mentioning Olympic volleyball will be asked to pack their belongings and find a place to live where your filthy, sinful, disgusting, depraved masturbation lifestyle is accepted!"
Another selection from the story may explain some of his housekeeping habits when we roomed together.
Aside from a substitution of Mt. Dew for the Red Bull, that pretty accurately described our dorm room.'But the Devil didn't clean up his mess in the bedroom! No sir! His tell-tale hoof-prints were everywhere! There were empty bottles of secular lubricant, four pairs of silk panties stained with the after-lust of Lucifer's business, and what appeared to be a horse harness stuffed into Timothy's closet along with a case of Red Bull.
Wait, was that my half of the room or his? I remember. It's just like in the story...
"They were all on the bedroom floor covered in sweat, their stiffened purple tallywhackers pointing in every direction."
3 comments:
The "stiffened purple tallywhackers pointing in every direction" is the part where I break out in a rolling laugh over every time!
The "stiffened purple tallywhackers pointing in every direction" is the part where I break out in a rolling laugh over every time!
I bet that gets annoying to your boyfriends. :)
No we use body paint so those whackers are any color of the rainbow... you bastard! Just the purple ones make me laugh. If I did have a boyfriend I am sure more than my laughing at his unit would be annoying. I constantly have flatulence and dingledreads for example.
I think it is hilarious that the mom who came upon this horrid scene stood around long enough to see that there was multiple tallywhackers and that they were purple. Good eye... or she took a good long hard look!
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