It's the goddamn fucking internet, people!

All this and more:

• Misunderstandings happen.
• Little annoyances fester and pile-up until one day you snap over the dumbest little thing.
• Flamewars explode.
• Sarcasm falls flat.
• Tone and intent are rarely conveyed.
• Other folks just don't know what your hot-buttons, sore-spots, and pet peeves are. Or they do know, but they don't care. Or they do know, and that's why they poke at them.
  
• Context that seems obvious to one person is lost on another. Either you never knew it, or you once knew but eventually forgot, or maybe you just had a momentary brain fart.
  
• Everything's always read in the worst possible light.
• Dishonest assholes apply smileys to mask their insults, making it so you can never be 100% certain if any given person is or isn't joking.
  
• Trolls just stir up shit on purpose.
• Some folks vent freely, some talk trash and play rough, others are mortified if polite decorum isn't followed.
  
• One person thinks they're having a friendly debate, meanwhile the other person is more offended than they've ever been.
• Things are far more public than you imagine them to be. You'd swear you were sending a private email, but it went out to all the mailing list.
  
• People assume crap you wrote is about them, when it was actually about someone else. Identifying who it was really about doesn't solve the problem, though, it just makes both of them pissed at you.
  
• Shit you'd never say to someone's face comes out 'cause you trick yourself into thinking they'll never read it.
• Other shit gets said that you didn't mean at all, 'cause you're typing faster than you're thinking and it didn't look nearly so insulting when you wrote it.
• Things that'd get laughed off in person, become horrendous and unforgivable in print.
• Things that'd make a person get flustered and demand to know "WTF? Did you mean to say that?" instead are reacted to before you get a chance to explain what you really meant.
• You think you ironed-out the misunderstanding, but the other guy's secretly muttering "public insult, private apology" as they stick the needles in the voodoo doll.
• You apologize publicly, and they accuse you of back-pedaling as a means of manipulative dishonesty.
  
• Idiotic nonsense gets written because it's 1:42 in the fucking morning, and you're too worked up to sleep, but too tired to compose intelligently.
• You just can't win. Neither can anyone else.
• You take your toys and go home. Or you threaten to. Or you do so, but like an idiot you come back for round two the next day.
  

It's the nature of the beast.

I've seen enough of this kind of thing happen in the 16 or 17 years I've been on the net that I pretty much take everything with as many grains of salt as I can stomach. I've been involved in it quite a bit, sometimes as offender, sometimes as offendee. I have yet to see a forum that's been around for more than a month or two and remained flamewar-free, so it's obviously not just me that's the thin-skinned victim and/or raging asshole. Seems like almost everyone has the potential to play either role, though some are better suited to one or the other.

Once upon a time, I tried to be really careful with what I said, so that I might avoid this nonsense. I spend far too much time on the net, however, to honestly believe I'll be 100% effective at keeping my foot out of my mouth and my sore spots cushioned. If it's gonna happen anyway...

These days, I say whatever crosses my mind, and just try to be honest, even when it hurts.
Likewise, I generally extend the benefit of a doubt to anyone who says "that's not what I meant!" or "well, I did mean that, but I was being an idiot, and now I'm sorry."
But that's just me, and it's certainly not some inviolate standard that I hold anyone else to. Do as you will.