Burning Man Comes Early This Year

While fires raging across Greece have killed over 60 people thus far (all Greeks from what I hear), The New York Times has informed me that a 40 foot Nevada native was burned half to death four days earlier than scheduled.

One of them, Kyle Marx of Eugene, Ore., told The San Francisco Chronicle that the reaction was oddly mixed. “Some people were chanting, ‘Let him burn, let him burn!’ and some were chanting, ‘Save the man, save the man!,’” he said.

A snarky comment from Valleywag seemed apt: “You never saw so many hippies so conflicted.”

Word is they still plan on burning him at the end of the event unless the Governor grants a full pardon for whatever it is this giant man did. Probably crushed a city or tried to get out of his drunken Las Vegas marriage to Allison Hayes.

For those interested in such things, he burned for 23 minutes.