To Insure POOR Service

• To start with, don't make a reservation for your group of 9, and don't check the restaurant in advance to see if they even have a table large enough for 9 gamer-sized individuals.
• Trickle in by singles and twos across a 20+ minute window.
• Don't tell the wait staff how large your group is, and make sure you neglect to mention to them when the last of your party has finally arrived. 
• While half the party still hasn't arrived, have one person walk over to the take-out counter and order there, instead of at the table. Don't mention to the rest of the group that you've done so. This way the wait-staff thinks you'll all eventually do the same, and your group of friends won't realize there's any confusion or reason for the delay.
• When you get handed a menu, loudly make jokes about the part where it says the restaurant practices Halal (Islamic Dietary Law), and especially mock where it says "all the meats on our pizzas are slaughtered by hand by Muslims, unlike our inferior competitors who use cheap prepackaged ingredients." 
• Repeat such jokes frequently, especially any time the waiter is standing right behind you. 
• Sit silently and spinelessly when you know you should instead be telling your friend to shut up.