Evolutionary Theory Thwarted by Peanut Butter

Fundies prove that evolution is a lie by showing how a process that takes thousands of years doesn't happen in a substrate specifically manufactured to be as inert and sterile as possible.



And now I am imagining a cackling mad scientist. He has strapped a jar of creamy peanut butter to his lab table and tells his hunchbacked assistant to raise the bed. The deformed man turns the crank which lifts the platform and opens a section of the roof. The lightening storm rages and strikes at rods which send the electrical energy visibly crackling down wires attached to the jar. The apparatus is lowered again and while a maniacally laughing scientist in his antiquated lab coat looks on, a creature emerges from the jar, rising up as a brown, humanoid blob. "It's alive! It's ALIVE!", the doctor yells. The blob then goes off to avenge his inert, defenseless brethren by eating school children and spreading peanut butter on their sandwiches that is so thick their mouth sticks together and they suffocate.

THAT'S what happens when we play God!