Bristol Palin

Is it just me, or does the pregnant teen daughter of Sarah Palin, Bristol (right), look exactly like the kind of gal you would expect to be a pregnant teen? One look at that face and I can imagine her makeup running down her rosy cheeks, hunched over and sobbing uncontrollably, her hair a clumping mess as she has to tell her enraged parents that she got knocked up.

Bristol, you would be my personal hero forever if you got an abortion, told your fiance to fuck off, and started stripping once you turned 18. Don't be a pawn in your mom's games. Take control of your destiny. Do it and I will boot my current veep choice and add you to the Jake ticket for 2012 so you can tell your mom, "Yeah, I ran for the nation's second highest office, too!". Consider it.