The Power of Obscenity

I spent much of my life working in jobs where cussing is often simply used as punctuation. Jobs such as janitor, dishwasher, grounds crew, metalworker, and farm labor.

Once while working for the grain elevator, one of the kids on the crew said "fuck" in front of a farmer who'd stopped by to talk to the foreman. After the farmer left, the foreman turned around and yelled at the kid for swearing. "He's very religious, and he's on the Board of Directors for the Co-op. He could have us both fired!"

The kid responded, "But I just heard him say 'shit!'"

The foreman answered, "'Shit' is not a cuss-word in farming, it's a technical term."

It wasn't until I graduated from college that I really worked in an office where I had to watch my tongue, and even here I can occasionally cuss when the situation warrants it, especially when talking to contractors. Suffice it to say there's not a lot that anyone could say which would offend me or most of my acquaintances. "Mother fucker," "asshole," "shithead," "bastard," "sheepshagger," "cocksucker," "son of a bitch," and "faggot" have all lost any real punch.

That's why I propose that the new term to be used for someone who really deserves an insult is one invented by Arlo Guthrie over 40 years ago and wouldn't even get bleeped on the radio: "Father raper." Seriously, call even the saltiest longshoreman that and see what happens.