Vote Today!

If you haven't voted yet, please do so today. This country is full of idiots, and I'm certain that every single one of our regular readers has at least 20 IQ points over the national average. In the words of Timbuk 3: "Assholes get elected, because assholes get to vote." We need your intelligence to help dilute the father-rapers and Fox-watchers.



If you think both the big candidates suck, and the little guys don't have a chance, Vote for Jake. He's a weirdo, an anarchist, and a shaman-priest. He's the only bullshit-artist you can trust. He wants to tear down the government from the inside. He wants to abolish the Federal Reserve. He wants to solve the energy crisis by burning aborted fetuses.

Will he win? Hell, no. But think about the message you're sending to the establishment if you spend an hour in a crappy line somewhere to write-in Jake Roth. That's a big "fuck you" to the government! It's a radical statement that you'd rather vote for no government at all than vote for the established greedy conspiracy of corporate interests. If you're gonna send a message, you might as well send the most outrageous one you can. That's Jake: Still Fisting The American Dream.