It Sucks

Our new secret weapon sucks | Salon

He surveyed the room, taking in all the inimitable Hooters pulchritude.

"You ever read what it was like to witness a horde of mounted Mongols descending on a city back in the 15th century? Imagine a horde of Hooters girls on roller skates careening down some mountain in Afghanistan. The Taliban would freak! But, for now, we're taking an incremental approach. We're talking about small, elite units of specially trained maids sent in with high-suction vacuums and the floor waxers ..."

"You're recruiting maids?"

"The economy's tanked here, right? People are firing their cleaning ladies or cutting them back to once a month. I mean, they're lining up to enlist in the program."

"So you're training maids to ... what? Fight in Afghanistan?"

"There and ... all over."

"Like where else?"

He laughed, spritzed his fork with Purell, wiped it clean with his napkin, and impaled another popper.

"I'm not that drunk, my friend."

I like to read Mark Leyner.