Heckuvaweirdassparallelworldweek

This week has been bizarre.

Peaceful little ol' me has narrowly avoided two fist fights this week, with total strangers (one of who was definitely crazy, the other seemed sane but got the bizarre impression that I was trying to attack his 70-year-old mother).

The night of the first such near-fist-fight (with a guy at a coffeeshop who just spontaneously turned to me and shouted "you can suck my dick!"), I also got called a "fucking bitch" by some drunk lady in a parking lot, and then 20 minutes later thought I'd stumbled into the midst of some sort of gang-violence but it turned out the people running straight at me in the dark waving weapons were just having a squirtgun fight at 11pm. That day was the worst of it, but things haven't returned to normal yet.

A couple days later a friend spontaneously moved to Montana in the middle of the night.

My wife's sciatica, which is usually pretty tame and has never had a flare-up longer than 36 hours is now on her 4th consecutive day of incapacitating pain.

At this exact moment there's some guy in my neighborhood shouting "Spider Wars! Dude, that sucks!" again and again at the top of his lungs. Like it's the most important thing in the world.

If anyone knows the metaphysical nature or dimensional coordinates of the parallel universe I've shifted in to, please share them with me. I'd like to chart a course back to my original reality.