Rants in My Pants

I love to rant.

Him: Could you please put your pants back on?

Me: No. I pay rent here.

Her: Well we pay our daughter's rent here and think you should put your pants on.

Me: Listen. Don't be looking at me like I'm some piece of loser scum, you yuppie scum bag fuckers. Let me tell you a little story about going crazy.

I used to have a good paying job. I was a graphic arts director. I taught college in the evenings. The jobs were practically handed to me. But I threw it all away and moved out here because I had to know if I could make it on my own where nobody knew who I was. And it just about did me in and I went a little crazy.

But I'm making it as my own person. And might I suggest you give your daughter enough space for her to become her own person rather than hanging around the house trying to dictate how things should be. She's not even here right now.

And I'd appreciate it if you'd get the fuck out of my house because I'm going to be fucking this hot Latina MILF and want to finish up before my wife gets home. Not because I don't want her to find out, because I'm going to tell her all about it, but because it's rude to not be able to welcome her home because you're fucking someone else. Now please GET THE FUCK OUT!

You can learn strange things about yourself in your dreams. I often go into ranting diatribes in the dream state. Probably because I spend most of my life refraining from going off on people in my waking state. Just for clarification, their daughter and my wife are not the same person. Or perhaps they are in some really twisted dream way. Both are students. That was obvious.

This dream contained a gem of a realization. I look at my current living conditions and often wonder what was going through my head to make me give up my previous jobs and my nice house*. All I can think is that I went crazy. There were many factors that lead to that insanity. As Dr. Thompson said, when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. I should be able to handle insanity.

Never before had I considered the need for self actualization. Because I was a student at the Arts High I got a job there as a security guard and worked a summer as a receptionist there where I got noticed and offered a job as an administrative assistant where it was discovered I had graphic design skills and then the graphic designer quit and they gave me the job. Because I was a student at Academy College when the program director quit he recommended me to teach his game design class. They call that networking. I call it cronyism. It's lazy. And apparently unrewarding for my psyche. Good to know.

And the Latina MILF** was super hot. Unfortunately I only got a blow job and a condom put on before waking up. Yes, I practice safe sex in my sleep.

* I don't miss Minnesota or my jobs. I just miss having a house and money.

** Here is a perfect opportunity to use the NSFW tag and include some pics. So I do a search for Latina MILF knowing it will pull up loads of material. After clicking through ten pages of image search I gave up. The internet may be for porn, but most of it sucks.