Pick a local tavern that sees a fairly steady flow of business and will often be close to crowded on the given night. For myself I would choose the Horse Brass. It would fit the bill nicely.
Have an old guy with a long gray beard go into the tavern fairly early in the day and stake out the corner. It has to be the corner table. He should also be wearing a dusty robe and a pointy hat that look like they've seen years of use.
Then I would show up in leather pants and a tunic accompanied by a young woman in a white dress. She would have unusually pointy ears. The old man in the corner would be staring at us consume vast quantities of alcohol.
At some point a midget dressed in black enters and tries to act inconspicuously. This of course is impossible because everyone stares at a midget when they enter a bar. But the old man will pretend he doesn't notice while continuing to stare at me.I will notice the old man staring at me as the midget appears to sneak up beside the old man and take something from his pocket. Noticing this I will rush over and grab the midget, insisting he give the old man back what he took.
The old man will announce, "Now that I have you all together, we have much to discuss. The task will require all of your skills and is quite dangerous. For this, I will reward you handsomely."
It would also be cool to buy everything using Sacajawea dollars kept in a pouch hanging from the belt.
The largest hurdle with the scenario is the midget. I don't have any midget friends. There just aren't that many midgets in the world. I've crossed paths with very few. Or maybe midgets are scared of me due to my height and size. Or maybe I'm a bigoted asshole who won't admit that I'm prejudiced against midgets. Regardless, lack of a midget in my life makes the scenario less likely to be anything other than a strange thought I had one day. I'm just not going to do it without the midget. It wouldn't be the same.
6 comments:
I am sure most would not even find humor in it. They might just think you are LARPers that wondered way from the park.
I wish I was a midget. Or that my beard were twice it's length and gray. If you can wait 20 years, odds are likely one of the two will describe me. But I ain't being the elf chick.
I just realized a way around the midget. We get a smile child (maybe one of X's, he's got kids to spare), and we give them horomone injections. They'll grow hair on their chest and feet, but remain child sized for at least a few weeks. We put them in a vest and no shoes - it'll be plenty creepy enough.
Okay, that was despicably tasteless of me. My apologies to Halley and Scotty.
I should have proposed abducting stranger's children - that would have been funnier.
What's the point in having children if I can't turn them into hairy freaks for the sake of a bar prank?
I was hoping you'd see things that way. We got a 3-day weekend coming up, where do we wanna do this?
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