Recently, I find I can't help but find that I keep pissing people off. It seems like everyone just misinterprets everything I write. Probably that means I'm a poor author. But it feels like I'm going to have to constantly write "No offense intended" every paragraph. No offense intended, by the way.
That just seems like a crappy way to live - walking on eggshells, wearing the kid gloves, censoring every thought. I know I won't be able to do it. I'm a gossip, and I vent. If I'm going to do so, I'd rather own up to it than live a double life. No offense intended. And a double-life I had when working at the game store. There were half a dozen customers I wanted to ream before I moved, and somehow I managed to remain civil. Keeping all that rage bottled for years was really unhealthy. Now, events seem to be pushing me towards not speaking my mind again... which might result in more stress, or just bitching about people behind their backs.
But then I hit this awesome idea. Rather than use my default assumption of saying what I mean, and just hoping no one takes it offense, what if I just assume that everyone will? No offense intended.
In fact, I can just start every post like I did this one.
Fuck you. Whoever you are. For whatever reason. (No offense intended). Now that I've got that out of the way, I can speak what's on my mind...See, that way, people are already pissed at me before they read whatever else follows. No offense intended. They'll remember I'm a raging asshole, and not take anything else I write too seriously. There'll be no surprises, and no failure to live up to expectations. No offense intended.
An earlier version of this post used Brad as an example. It talked about how, theoretically but highly unlikely, Brad could be deeply offended by my arguing about Land of the Lost. Ironically, I deleted that version, because I was fearful Brad might feel singled out. How silly is that? No offense intended. I think everyone should be equally fucked.
5 comments:
If you're not pissing people off then you aren't sharing original thoughts. It is easy to string people along by making them think you share their opinions on stuff. If you speak to genuine thoughts and feelings, someone is going to disagree and take offense.
Fuck those weak minded imbeciles.
I'll happily agree to be equally offended by every post you make, just so you don't have to worry about me. :)
Thank you both. And note, I even said "Thank" when it would have been so easy to substitute something else. :)
I'm offended that you haven't personally offended me with anything you've written.
I am not sure you could personally offend me? I don't have to agree with you and I can certainly always take the other side of a topic.
I just really don't give a shit what anyone thinks. If I offend, get over it. If you offend me, I will get over it.
Now stupidity I have no tolerance for what so ever! If you are truly a dumb ass just walk away from me. But if you just play the part of a dumb ass it is OK as long as it is entertaining.
NEVER hold back on my account. BTW Land of the Lost sucks huge donkey dick. Offense intended!
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