The Benevolent Uncle Jack

I'll admit it. There is something pretty damn cool about walking up to a venue that holds 1,400 people for a full show, seeing a line that stretches at least a block, going straight to the door and saying, "I'm on the band list." In you go. All of this because 18 years ago I chose to write down the name of a guy I had met briefly as a roommate request because I figured it was better than getting stuck with someone who might be a complete jerk-off. When I showed up on that first day he was jumping all over the place like some odd Robin Williams/Woody Allen hybrid with a mullet. He told me I needed to meet a couple of really cool gals. Those two gals really were quite awesome. One of them happened to go on to marry a member of my second favorite band (sorry, Bob) and bring her husband to the 15 year class reunion where my old roommate apparently gushed about my spouse and me. Which was awfully kind of him and I'm very grateful for. Actually I am a self-absorbed asshole who has learned to keep his mouth shut. Argue this all you want, I know the truth. Soy el diablo. Which is why I enjoy things like cutting to the front of long lines of people standing out in the rain or having strippers giving me a lap dance suddenly recognize me because of my past work. I also enjoy long walks on the beach, sunsets, and belittling people's belief systems. FYI.

There is no point in reviewing the show. I am completely biased on this topic. Flogging Molly kicks major ass. Their live shows are awesome and you should all buy their latest album, Float. Bob Schmidt is especially cool. How many people can play mandolin and banjo with total punk rock style? Again, totally biased.

Now, what the fuck is up with Portland venues? This town has some of the most beautiful venues for concerts in the country. Why is it all of them have the shittiest sound? Is there some trade off I am unaware of? Or is it that every sound engineer in the region has an unnatural affinity for the tinny sound of treble? I can't even say it sounds like they are playing in a barn. I used to attend shows at the Outhouse in Lawrence, Kansas which essentially was a barn and sounded a hell of a lot better than the fancier places in this town. The basement punk shows I used to frequent had better sound. Note to self; bringing ear plugs for you and all of your friends can only serve to enhance the experience. I'm still cleaning the blood out of my ears. I could hear every lyric crisply. The clubs in Minneapolis often had muddled sound in the vocal range. Perhaps this is why. All is forgiven, First Ave. You were right, I was wrong.

Last time we hung around Flogging Molly they gave us a couple cans of Guinness. This time Dennis (guitar) gave us a couple bottles of whiskey. Next time I am expecting a couple of jugs of something and am working my way up to a matching set of distilleries. Why would an Irish themed band give us bottles of Jack Daniels? Ah, my friends, this is the really fucked up part of the business. Jack Daniels sponsored the show. Tickets were free but you had to sign up at the Jack Daniels website to be eligible or receive them from a Jack Daniels representative prowling one of your favorite bars. Not only did they put on a free Flogging Molly show for those lucky enough to get tickets, but they also handed out free drink tickets to everyone entering. Which meant you could have any one of their fantastic Jack Daniels products. Throughout the opening act a pair of rear projection screens kept flashing Jack Daniels promo material. The floors and walls had JD projections. Between acts a crew of people in JD t-shirts came on stage to remind everyone that they were here to see Flogging Molly through the benevolence of good old Uncle Jack. Uncle Jack loves each and every one of you. Yes, they said that. Drink to Uncle Jack. Again at the end of the show a personal reminder that this was all brought to you by the all benevolent, all wonderful Uncle Jack. Praise be to Jack!

I side with the Libertarians and Satanists on this one. Such promotions are creepy and feel dirty to me. The company is making so much money off of people buying their product that they have no problem throwing them a small bone now and again, like a free concert with a few free drinks. You have to pay for the shirt that you will wear around town to advertise their products for them. It isn't just alcohol, it's a lifestyle and cultural identity. While all of this rubs me the wrong way, for most of the people in the crowd it works. Jack Daniels gave them a free show and free drinks and goddamn if Jack Daniels isn't the fucking greatest. Buy another round and raise a toast to the benevolent Uncle Jack who gave back a tiny portion of what you've spent. I have an old reaction that finds it all distasteful. But don't blame Jack Daniels. This is marketing and it works. The problem lies with the people attending. Satanists, Libertarians, and even most Republicans will agree that this is how the free market economy operates. It is up to the people to decide. (Some Satanists take it a step further and say taking advantage of a sucker is proper or even encouraged behavior. Republicans do believe this but refuse to admit it.) They could choose to not purchase Jack Daniels products. They could choose to not let such promotions influence their decisions.

Benevolent Uncle Jack knows that a few public relations events cost next to nothing compared to the lifetime of revenues from drinkers who decide their liquor of choice is Jack Daniels. At least they chose a kick ass band for the event.