Anatomical Systems of Measure

Most Americans are familiar with the foot. It is something that is far too big for most measuring in my job. We use the Cunt Hair (CH for short or while in the company of the easily offended).

Almost got it lined up. Just move it a Cunt Hair.

Cunt Hair ~ .005"

The standard deviation on most prints, unless stated otherwise, is typically plus or minus a CH. They don't write it that way, but that's what it is. And a Cunt Hair is pretty damn thick. It's a sloppy form of measurement. Many things need to be held to a tighter tolerance than this. Even the genital hair found on young pubescent girls would probably be too thick to use as an adequate measuring term. Besides, that would be perverted.

But sometimes you want to move things a little bit further. I've developed my own term for this that as far as I know, no one else uses. But it is a useful expression in my own mind to describe certain operations I perform. I call it the Jew Pube. In theory, the Jew Pube is the same size as a Cunt Hair. But just as Jews appear to have the same physical size as other people, they seem to command a bit more space with their wild and wooly nature.

.015" > Jew Pube > .005"

Do not confuse either the Cunt Hair or the Jew Pube with the Smidge. A Smidge is just gross.