A couple at work had their first child a week ago. I actually like the pair quite a bit, but sometimes honesty gets the better of me.Her: Hey Jake! Come check out the baby.I look.
Her: Come on. You have to say he's cute.Of course that doesn't apply to your kids, even if I haven't met them. I'm sure your kids are cuter than cute and oh-so-talented.
Me: No I don't.
Her: Why not?
Me: Because I hate kids. Bring him back when he's five. That's when I start liking kids. I can converse with them and begin warping their minds.
Her: Remind me not to let you near him when he's five.
Sometimes I can be a real jackass. Luckily this individual was familiar with my sense of humor, laughing at me as she said the last part.
2 comments:
I agree. Babies are ugly. They cry at all the wrong times. Parents rarely understand why you don't want their skanky asses changed on your gaming table.
Yet somedays I miss all those 12-to-16 year olds I used to have so much influence over at the game store. It's kinda fun being part of someone's social (and/or artistic) development.
Even my own kids can be a pain in the ass. They're fun and cute and all, but I don't want to inflict their screaming and bodily functions on anyone else.
Fortunately, my son is becoming quite the conversationalist. I'm working on warping him already, but in a couple of years he'll be ready for you guys to help.
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