I gather from our interactions of late that you forgave me for this long ago, but I still feel like an idiot who owes you a public apology for my sins and social affronts. Here it is.
Kris, I'm sorry I went off on you. I'm sure you know the time I'm talking about, because you and I haven't really exchanged an email or an IM since then. You did nothing wrong. I was in the wrong. It was all me. I inferred meaning that wasn't there, because I had a sore spot I was in denial about. I was in a bad place. I knew my (first) marriage was doomed to fail, and I was really touchy about it. I didn't know how to cry out for help, so instead I lashed out at one of my dearest friends, without giving you any hints as to why I was being such a reactionary dick. Then I toughed my way through a couple more years of stupid pointless painful marriage that should have never come to be. I'm sorry that I let my insecurities strain our friendship. I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings. When I look back on those days, I am really embarrassed. I should have known better.
I do know better these days, and I'm happy to say that while I'm still high-strung, I'm not carrying around the same craptastic baggage that I once let ruin my life.
Thank you for not writing me off completely and forever.
Thanks also to Jake for not cutting me out completely in the process of defending you.
Thank you both (and X, and Daved, and our readership) for making me feel welcome to join this blog so I have somewhere to vent all this shit that built up while I was in Albuquerque. You are all a large and active part of my healing process.
4 comments:
[blink]
I didn't do anything.
Still, I like reading Rolfe a lot and think of him always with warm feelings, so that's cool. :)
Heh. "Daved." Rolfe was one of only a few people who ever thought that was funny.
You do know you're listed as a contributor here, yes? While you've been largely silent, you at least didn't post "Holy crap, Jake, why'd you let that freak sign up?" when I crawled out of the woodwork. That's close enough to approval for me. :)
Yeah...but I'm already writing three other blogs. I have no more opinions to offer.
Wow. I only new about one: pointing and giggling.
Some days I wish I'd run out of opinions to offer.
Post a Comment