Must Be Funny

So what's the biggest boost to happen to stock markets in recent memory? Advances in technology? Improved productivity? Expanded information and transportation infrastructure? A new cleaner and less expensive source of energy? No, it's cheap money!

The Federal Reserve chairman led policymakers to cut their key interest rate by a half-point to 4.75 percent, instead of a more widely expected quarter-point cut.

Stocks soared.

The Dow Jones industrial average immediately added more than 100 points to gains from favorable morning news and kept climbing. By the end of trading, the Dow had tacked on 335.97 points to reach 13,739.39, a 2.5 percent gain.

The broader Standard & Poor’s 500 index gained 2.9 percent, and the Nasdaq composite rose 2.7 percent.

Who knew that the solution to our economic problems was just to print more money?

Cheaper money is designed to lubricate credit markets that threatened to seize up in recent weeks; the response could keep the economy from going into recession.
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Tuesday’s cut in interest rates should help homeowners who have seen payments increase on their variable-rate mortgages. Lower rates also will make it easier for lenders to work out solutions for borrowers who have missed payments or face foreclosure.

Consumers also should see lower borrowing costs to buy cars and easier payment plans on credit card balances.

Well, that's a relief. The little guy gets a taste of the party too!

Savers, in contrast, likely will not earn as much on certificates of deposit and money market accounts.

Fuck savers. Why pay today what you can put off until tomorrow? I'm glad that we have smart people like Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke protecting us.