Some recruiter has come up with a list of the top ten ways to get fired. And I am here to tell you point by point that this is all a bunch of bullshit.
1. Lie on Your Job Application or Resume: It is estimated that anywhere from 57-75% of people lie on job applications depending on your source. I personally have lied and nobody at work gives a shit about my true background as long as I keep kicking ass and taking names.
2. Be Indiscreet About Your Job Hunt: If you are a good employee, letting your employer know you are looking elsewhere can lead to raises and promotions. If you are a lazy fuck-off, it is a great excuse to can your ass.
3. Gossip: This all depends on who you are. A good secretary knows how to dish and the boss will encourage it to get the inside scoop on office politics.
4. Taking Too Many Personal Calls: These days there is no such thing as taking a personal call. You're 'networking' with an 'associate'.
5. Drink at Work: As long as you show up and do your job, being an alcoholic won't necessarily get you fired. It can even make you a lovable character. I worked with an alcoholic that everyone tolerated for several years until he started to show up late.
6. Surf the Web Excessively: I did this for years. It was one of the few things that kept me from quitting despite my repulsion at the pervasive incompetency around me.
7. Become Romantically Involved with the Boss: This could actually help you keep your job.
8. Forget to Double-Check Your Figures: Blame technology for any errors. Everybody knows that computers are full of gremlins that do all kinds of crazy things.
9. Alienate Your Coworkers: If you aren't spending any time maintaining relationships with coworkers, you must be spending all that time actually doing your job, right?
10. Point the Finger at Everyone but Yourself: Scape goats and sacrificial lambs are the bedrock of the work environment.
This list should actually be called
Top 10 Excuses Bosses Use to Get Rid of People They Don't Want Around.
1 comment:
You're right about this! Anytime a boss likes someone & thinks theyll lose them they give raises, time off & perks. Especially the Job Hunting part. I's, "What can we do to keep this valuble employee (Usually it's a useless kiss ass). Those same things done by someone the boss doesn't like lands them in hot water. (Usually the hard worker).
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