Okay, I can't tell you what to do, but I strongly suggest reading or listening to Mikhail Bakunin's God and the State. At one time a communist and friend of Karl Marx, Bakunin broke with the Marxist movement over the issue of using authoritarian power to enforce socialism, arguing that the mechanism of the state would not liberate anyone, but instead make everyone a slave. For his fight against the institutions of slavery, serfdom, monarchy and theocracy he was stripped of all his property, imprisoned several times, and exiled to Siberia eventually escaping to Europe via Japan and America. He was one hard-core dude.
Lest it sound like I'm putting him on a pedestal, like many of his contemporaries he also hated Jews, so you gotta take that into account.
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"if God really existed, it would be necessary to abolish Him."
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