It's been a while since I've done any neoluddite ranting here. What with the LHC "down"* till September, and the latest thing threatening to destroy the world being natural / biological / stupid**, I've been quieter than usual. Let's see, what shall I rant about...
Robotic Lawnmowers.
Okay, I get the Roomba idea. Not having to do your own vacuuming is a big improvement on quality of life. Even with the sorry state of the world economy, you really can't hire someone to vacuum your house twice a week for the next two years for $149 to $199. So, I bow to this logic, and secretly envy those with short hair (because my long hair destroys vacuum cleaners).
I also understand the robot-on-the-assembly-line idea. It takes jobs away from good people, and thus contributes to the economic disaster we're wading through, but I see how it saves on expenses and would thus be desirable to our corporate overlords. Plus, a little bit of automation might reduce the risks to workers. So, I must grudgingly admit I see the logic there.
The lawnbot, however, is like the worst aspects of both ideas. You can hire some neighborhood kid to mow your lawn every week for a lot less than the $1,399 the cheapest robomower costs. Replacing him with a robot doesn't in any way reduce the danger in his life. Let's face it, most kids who see a robot mowing the neighbors lawn are going to test it's limits. They'll throw toys and rocks at it or in front of it. They'll build a ramp or jump. They'll flip it over to watch the blades spin. Then somebody pushes the fat or nerdy kid, he falls into it, and my wife ends up coding his insurance claims.
Oh, well then, that means job security for my wife in these lean times. Nevermind then. Please, continue to make robotic children-mowing machines.
*: I put "down" in quotation marks because I don't for a minute believe the LHC is offline. No, it just created a temporal gateway, and the facility is currently inundated with refugees from the future trying to escape the hell we've turned this planet in to. The UN has cordoned it off, and is trying to work out a solution to this dilemma. Unfortunately, the time machine only goes back to the moment is was turned on, so they can't escape to a time before we started destroying the planet. Not unless the dinosaurs also built an LHC, and died off because of competition with humans who fled through it into our primeval past. Hmm...
**: Interpret that as Swine Flu, or as North-Korea-related insanity (on our part or theirs), as you see fit.
5 comments:
I went the opposite direction with my lawn mowing. Growing tired of the increasing maintenance demands of my old gas mower and figuring out how much gas it consumes and the resulting emissions, I recently plunked down less than $100 for a brand spankin' new manual rotary push mower. It requires the same level of energy input from me without any of the hassles or costs of the old gas mower. It's awesome!
Down with the robomower overlord invasion! Let stupid children find other ways to injure themselves to support your wife's career. Like huffing the ether I no longer need to start my mower.
In addition it reduces the potential dangers to myself involved with mowing while intoxicated.
That's the kind of mower I've been using for 10 years... except now that I can't physically use it we're borrowing a power mower.
I had an old one that was a real chore to push. This new one is honestly no harder to push around the yard than my old gas mower was.
If I may be so bold and shallow as to guide you to my blog for a moment... There is even a robotic snow blower!! Link here
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