A Bilderberg Comedy

It seems one of the hallmarks of our modern times involves comedians becoming the world's top reporters. John Stewart is the undisputed king of this trend. A recent addition that is doing a bang up job is British comedy writer Charlie Skelton's reporting on the Bilderberg meeting in Athens for The Guardian.

Have you heard of the Bilderberg Group? For those who say they don't believe in conspiracies, this one is wholly outed. Named for the hotel where the group first met, a whole bunch of super rich and powerful people meet for undisclosed purposes. Many of them admit to attending. Some even write off their travel as a business expense. The media is not allowed anywhere near the meetings. No press releases. Nothing. Maybe they get together to discuss various plans for total world domination (which for all intents and purposes they seem to already have). Maybe they beat each others' bare bottoms with giant ping pong paddles. Either would explain why the event is always heavily secured by serious people with big guns. You don't want the public to know about such goings on.

Charlie Skelton's Bilderberg files

It's B minus one, the day before Bilderberg. And it is definitely happening: I've seen the guns. I thought it might be a good idea to go to the Astir Palace resort for lunch. See just what kind of a cheese omelette the president of the Federal Reserve is going to be enjoying. I didn't get far. At the gates, there were machine guns and men in loose jackets and guards checking under cars for bombs with those mirrors on sticks that morbidly obese people use to check whether they've taken their knickers* off.

Now that's reporting.

* For people who speak American rather than English, this refers to undergarments that cover one's genitalia, not a New York basketball fan. Any resemblance is purely coincidental.