A friend insisted that I watch Deadliest Warrior: Viking vs Samurai. He's a fan of Samurais and I am a Viking.
I watched. Lame! Mostly. Crappy show at least. Let me spoil the ending for everyone and tell you they give the victory to the Samurai. Not a big surprise. When you boil everything down to physics, the Japs had it goin' on. Viking weaponry fared much better than I expected, though. Their fancy pants computer simulations ran combat 1,000 times and gave 470 wins to the Viking and 530 to the Samurai. Not bad for a bunch of Norse savages.
What the simulation does not account for was the secret weapon of the berserker; mushroom infused mead. Imagine getting belligerently drunk on mead that has had amanita muscaria mushrooms soaking in it then going into combat tripping your balls off. The blood starts to flow, you go into a rage, your eyes are windows into the abyss, showing wide eyed black like some demon from a nightmare yet undreamed. The modern equivalent would be to train rabid bears as IRS collection agents. Yes, they were that scary.
Not to mention, the Samurai were the protectors of a tiny feudal island. The Vikings fucked up everyone's shit.
Japanese women would have fared better against the Norsemen, what with them being used to giant penis tentacled demon attacks* and all. The rapings of the Vikings would probably have been a welcome change.
* WARNING! Really fucking disturbing picture in that link and definitely NSFW. So I had to share.
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