Offended by a Friend's Bathroom

Last night we had dinner at the home of a friend who's political opinions are a little different from mine. She mostly votes Republican because she wants a small "hands off" government - though she believes college should be affordable for all Americans, and wants to be a good steward of the planet God has seen fit to grant us with (I phrase it that way because the religious angle is definitely her take on this). As a result, she has, on several occasions, voted for Democrats when specific Republican candidates have had bad educational or environmental policies, or when the Republican candidate has notable corruption issues. While I don't see eye to eye with her on everything, I think she's a very good person, she's never judged or belittled me for my rather different politics, and I'm happy to have her amongst my friends.

Anyhow, before the visit, she'd asked that this be a politics-free evening. She car pools with several friends, some of whom may be ex-friends by now, who have become total asses in the car pool this election season. They specifically act like the political equivalent of snipers or hit-and-run drivers, dropping politically charged comments to rile her up as they're approaching her work. Things like getting within a block or two of her work and then saying "only bigots vote for Republicans," which is pretty much calling her a bigot. That is a label I would never think to apply to such a warm and generous person as the lady in question - she is accepting and open-minded, despite being very religious. She lives her life by the Golden Rule, and tries hard to treat everyone with dignity, respect, and love.

The car pool issues had gotten so bad recently, that she actually called in sick one day this week, and is now considering leaving the car pool. For someone who cares about the environment, and has a one-hour commute despite being able to use the diamond lane, that's a big deal. That situation sucks, and I happily agreed to her request that we avoid politics so she can have a break.

Sarah and I both enjoy her company. We had a nice dinner of vegetarian parmesan, played a few good board games, and made lots of non-political small talk. Over all, it was a very enjoyable evening. We scheduled to do lunch in a couple weeks, and discussed the possibility of attending the theatre together a few weeks thereafter.

Then I used her bathroom. Sitting on the back of the toilet were half a dozen magazines. The cover of the top one asked "how young is the earth?" and said the article inside used simple math and the book of Genesis to determine the age of the earth. It was published by Creation Research Institute. I desperately hoped this was something she'd picked up on a lark at a news-stand trying to see the other side, but I'm pretty sure that's just wishful thinking on my part. Sure enough, a quick peek at the rest of the stack revealed she had the last 6 months of issues, with her name and address on the label.

It kinda bummed me out the rest of the night. I really wanted to point out how ridiculous the Intelligent Design and Young Earth Creationist movements are. More specifically, I wanted to share the things I'd learned recently about how much of the leadership of those movements lie and misrepresent science to push their religious agendas. As I said earlier, education is a big issue to her, and I think it's possible her opinion might be swayed if she were shown the arguments I've recently read. But I promised her I wouldn't bring up politics last night, so kept my lips zipped tight.

It wasn't easy. I think the Intelligent Design movement is going to completely ruin this country. At it's heart is a struggle to place religion ahead of science, and, far more importantly, undermine the "no establishment of religion" clause of the 1st Amendment. Intelligent Design, which is just a slick and manipulative version of Creationism, is dangerous for the future of this country. I'm a man of my word, and I think a friend's home is their castle, so I wasn't about to open up the politics-and-religion can of venomous worms. But sitting quietly on this put knots in my stomach, and it makes me less inclined to spend time with her in the future. Hopefully, when the election is gone and done, she won't feel the need to ask for "politics free" dinners, 'cause I'm not sure I can do that again now that I have the full picture. If not, then I'll just have to admit "we've grown apart" and not be so quick to book future get-togethers.

To be honest, there's a certain part of me that was offended by the placement of those magazines. She'd asked me to promise "no politics" but then effectively had a political poster sitting by the toilet. I'm sure she doesn't see it that way, that she didn't mean to be hypocritical, and that she sees Religion and Politics as separate issues. Just the same, it's hard for me to not feel like my good faith was taken advantage of.